Alarming news out of London! December 27, 1843

​London authorities are investigating what could be a case of food contamination at The Tavern after an elderly male resident experienced some strange symptoms following a recent meal there.
Ebenezer Scrooge, age unknown, had his usual evening order at The Tavern on the night of December 24th and experienced several hours of hallucinations, remaining somewhat disoriented upon waking the next morning. At nine o’ clock AM Christmas day, he was seen in his bedroom window, still dressed in pajamas and nightcap, hailing passersby and asking them what day it was. 
“He wanted me to buy a turkey,” a young resident recalled, who declined to give his name. “Of course, I said, ’Walk-ER!’ but it didn’t affect him at all. He seemed nice enough: called me a remarkable boy, and paid right up for the turkey when I brought the man around with it.”
Health officials are conducting an inspection of the tavern kitchen for hallucinogenic substances, but Scrooge has declined to press charges if they discover any. 
“I am not the man I was,” he told reporters. “I will not be the man I must have been but for this intercourse. I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. Heaven, and the Christmas Time be praised for this! I say it on my knees, old Jacob; on my knees!” 
Robert Cratchit of Camden Town, long time employee of Scrooge & Marley’s, admitted that he has found his boss’ behavior altered since the incident. 
“I had a momentary idea of knocking Scrooge down with the ruler; holding him; and calling to the people in the court for help and a strait-waistcoat,” he said, referring to his first experience with Scrooge at the office on the morning of December 26th. “But then he told me he was going to raise my salary and endeavor to assist my struggling family, so I think he has actually come to his senses!” 
Scrooge continues to have mild symptoms which baffle doctors.
“I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel. I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man,” Scrooge reported.
Medical personnel at the local hospital will continue monitoring Scrooge to grow understanding of his condition.

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